On October 27, 2014, we started a new feature on our blog: the Dream Journal. We decided to start it because at the time, we noticed that we kept on having really insane dreams we wanted to share, but we never got to it. Until now...
This was a dream I had a few nights ago and it is legitimately the weirdest, funniest, and most utterly amazing dream I have ever had. Here goes nothing...
(Also none of this ever happened. I just dreamt it up in my head and calling it weird is the understatement of the century.)
It all started one day when I was home alone. I was having fun alone, writing stories, eating cold pizza, and listening to my favorite music. Then, all of a sudden, Banana_Elephant shows up to my house, dressed as Dora the Explorer. Banana_Elephant is like, "Hey Looney, wanna go rob a McDonald's?" and I'm like, "Yeah man".
Banana and I leave in an orange Camaro (her dream car), which she had apparently stolen. As we travel to the McDonald's, Banana and I sing the Little Einsteins theme song *which I'm sure you know, regardless of whether you watched the show as a kid or not. Curse you Vine...*.
We arrive at the McDonald's and find our good friend Doglover working there. As you should definitely know by now, Doglover loves dogs (heck, it's his name on here!* So there's this McDonald's customer and he wants to eat a Big Mac, only with dog meat instead of the regular hamburger meat. Doglover refuses to give the customer the Dog Mac, but the customer is very determined to leave the restaurant with one. Doglover starts crying because he doesn't think dogs should be eaten and as a result, he gets fired from the McDonald's.
Also at the McDonald's is my brother, who is on a date with Ariana Grande. They are having a heated conversation over which type of cheese is the best, even though my brother doesn't even like cheese and Ariana is a vegan. I ask my brother what he is doing there, and why out of all the places he could have gone on a date, he picked McDonald's. All of a sudden, Ariana just randomly gives us $500 in cash without explaining. Banana and I graciously thank her and we leave the restaurant.
We return to our stolen orange Camaro and head to Target, still singing the Little Einsteins theme song. At Target, we decide to spend the $500 given to us by Ariana on boxes of macaroni and cheese. I think we bought around 300 that day, and the Target employees were not happy about it. We go to the checkout and Banana accidentally crashes the (very full) cart into Taylor Swift. Now, Banana and I are both HUGE Taylor Swift fans, so we start screaming and fangirling loudly.
Due to our fangirling, a security guard takes Banana and I to a mental hospital. Our therapists are Kim Kardashian and Kanye West, and our meeting with them is...interesting...meaning that Kanye brags about how he is going to run for president in 2020 and Kim talks about the book she wrote about selfies. We're still immature teenage fangirls at the end of it all.
After we're done, the police found out that we robbed a McDonald's (which we did not do) and we end up being sent to court...but court is cancelled! Apparently, the police and the fireman had to skip court (even though they don't actually go to court) because somebody called them because Bruno Mars was too hot, hot ham*.
*It's an inside joke between my friends and I. In the song "Uptown Funk", Bruno sings about how he is too hot, and instead of saying "hot (word I won't say because it could be considered cursing and we like to keep things PG here)". we say "hot ham". It's pretty stupid but I love it.
After the court drama, Banana takes me to Chuckles' house to meet Chuckles and Quidditch_Turtle, ...only she doesn't. Chuckles' house no longer exists in my dream and is replaced by an ice rink. We do some good old-fashioned ice skating while baracksdubs play in the background. Yeah...I don't know either...
We end up having so stop ice skating because somewhere, my brother (who had returned from his date with Ariana Grande) had burnt a piece of toast. This is apparently such a big deal that somebody had Beyonce take us to safety at Hogwarts on unicorns (if you are looking for the weirdest sentence in this post, this is probably it).
We stay at Hogwarts for about 5 minutes before two more celebrities enter the dream. My favorite author, John Green, is flying a plane and Nicki Minaj is his co-pilot. John is lecturing her about all the characters he's ever killed off in his books and Nicki keeps on rapping about everything that's happened, and they are annoying each other to no end. The two eventually crash their plane into Hogwarts, causing an immediate evacuation.
Yet another celebrity, Dylan O'Brien, takes us to safety at a karaoke bar of all places. At the karaoke bar, Banana_Elephant and Quidditch_Turtle sing "Watch Me" by Silento with Miley Cyrus. As the performance goes on, I eat a bunch of cinnamon rolls and Chuckles and Dylan O'Brien have a conversation about everything that's happened that day. Naturally, since he is her celebrity crush, they end up dating.
The party continues as Fall Out Boy crashes the karaoke bar and gives us a free concert. But plot twist: the free concert is just them playing "Uma Thurman" 63 times until they get sick of it and are just like "Screw this LOL". It's fun but everybody is sad when they leave. As we look for something to do after the concert, one of my teachers from last year decides to lecture us on the history of sandpaper. At first we think it's boring but we end up laughing until we cry because this lecture is filled with lots of sarcastic remarks! One Direction is also there and they sing songs about marshmallows while the sandpaper lecture goes on, but nobody is paying attention to them, to be honest (don't hate me Directioners).
At the end, we realize that this is just a movie starring Leonardo DiCaprio, who actually didn't do anything in the dream. He ends up winning an Oscar for his (nonexistant) role in the movie, and users of the website Tumblr lose it because a lot of them have wanted him to win an Oscar forever. Tumblr ends up killing us all and the dream ends with my science teacher singing "Shake It Off" by Taylor Swift at karaoke.
So that's my dream. It's weird. I know. I mainly made this post because I was lecturing my friends about it at school and Doglover wasn't there and I didn't want to give the lecture again. I hope you enjoyed my insane dream. I'm not_luna_lovegood, and I'll post again whenever I feel like it.
not_luna_lovegood (aka Looney)
No comments:
Post a Comment